2 Big Lessons from this past year

As I delve deeper into my undergraduate studies and life, I am learning to acknowledge my happiness. We've all heard it: humans are emotional creatures and tend to dwell on the setbacks and hardships while seldom acknowledging the moments when we are truly happy and content.

To (rather unfairly) simplify a painful and very complex personal experience: about a year ago, my collegiate life was heading downhill. I felt as if everything were slowly falling apart. Daily rivers of tears accompanied the extreme frustration with school. It all spiraled into emotional instability, and it's still difficult for me to admit that almost all of this unhappiness stemmed from academics. I became so disinterested in the academic content that I eventually lost motivation to learn and put in effort. Coupled with the disinterest were high-level challenges from the abstract subject matter of my major at the time. I put academics before all (after all, the ultimate goal in college is to receive a degree in something that I desire to specialize in). This top priority turned from intense curiosity and passion to depression and self-loathing, obvious portents of a need for massive change.

Just a few days ago, I began to acknowledge my happy moments. That led to realizing that I am actually a pretty awesome person - and I had never felt this awesome before because I failed to recognize my victories, especially the small ones that are easily overlooked. I then began to fathom why I am able to feel so much happier now, and this falls under two big umbrellas.

(1) My previously dominant emotional struggles and self-loathing now give me strength.
I've always known that hardships allow people to feel much more prepared for future challenges. However, what surprised me most were my recent acknowledgements of "Wow, I know I would not be this happy and, most importantly, grateful in my new major (more generally, academic department) had I not suffered immensely a year ago." I feel strongest and most self-assured when I am genuinely happy. So many times, I had wished that all the disparities had never happened, but I can't disparage what happened a year ago. Because I was completely downcast and inconsolable, I am now able to sincerely appreciate the smallest moments of bliss and euphoria that cross my path, because hey - almost anything beats those days of self-loathing.

(2) I surround myself with both "right and wrong" people, and both are equally important.
Friends come and go, but sometimes, it can take an entire year or more to understand someone on an authentic level. I discovered that some people are not who I thought they were, and others are so much more compassionate and kind than the person I first knew.

I have two really kindhearted roommates. We all look out for each other, provide mutual support, and live off a code of blatant honesty. This has allowed us to cut out the nonsense and pointless squabbles that may accompany living with close friends. They are my sisters. They can see right through me and know that the truth is exponentially more powerful than any lie. Surprisingly, when I first met them both, I had never thought that I would meet them again.

I have also grown closer with someone I met about a year ago. I am forever indebted to this individual. He and I met through his roommate and surprisingly, our friendship launched through sarcastic humor and a stuffed animal wombat. Throughout most of last year, we exchanged countless laughs; I always loved his company. It was not until the start of this school-year when I came to terms with how much I respected his commitment to his word, ability to not only hear but also to listen, open heart, and generous nature. He is a person whose actions speak louder than his words - and they represent him in a positive light. It is so refreshing to know that there are individuals who value what is important to both themselves and others, and know how to listen. And slowly but surely, I'm learning to become a better listener as well.

After dealing with combative people, gratefulness comes so much more naturally. I am learning so much about myself and the person I strive to be.

More importantly, I am able to acknowledge myself and my own happiness.

"Will you be back again soon?"

Despite the incessant studying that has been accompanying my inflexible school schedule with midterms and quizzes which has caused my recent exhaustion, I re-discovered a former beacon of hope that brought the biggest smile to my face, contentment, and peace within: enlightening younger students, inspiring them to learn, and seeing their exciting responses and participation.

I'm not going to lie: the transition to being BEAM president has been tough. It's funny how you can work for months towards something, and it can all come crashing down within a few seconds due to unexpected complications. But I get it; this is all a part of the learning process. Disappointment and shattered plans are all naturally a part of a growing team that is learning to optimize its success and opportunities.

For the first time in several months, I visited a fourth-grade classroom and saw bright, curious faces who were so excited to be doing some hands-on science. While leading the class discussion, I asked them some questions related to osmosis and diffusion. What happens to your fingers when you guys are in the shower for too long? Can you relate that to what happens in Mr. Potato when he has been in salt water for too long? Every question I asked resulted in an astounding number of hands raised, all competitively eager to answer me (about 80% of the students raised their hands after every question). Well, how different this is from college science students; we're often very mundane and almost always sound wearied. Entering a room filled with enthusiastic young kids was incredibly refreshing. 

At the end of our session, several of the kids ran up to me with pleading, widened eyes and said, "Jessica, will you be back again soon? PLEASE?" I then announced to the class that we will be back next Friday. A roaring "HOORAY!" echoed throughout the room.

Going to the school is like seeing the fruits of the BEAM team's labor. And this motivates me to build an even stronger leadership which will continue reaching out to younger students, exposing them to the exciting and relateable aspects of science.

Did I forget to mention that the kids were excited to show off their class pet, Leo?

Circular schooling

 From Ideas for Improving Science Education

"I would change that to a system where we reward mastery of the subject matter, rather than grading on a curve... We are wasting a lot of human potential." 

- John Matsui

"We need to create opportunities to excite students about how math and science connect to real life." 

- Freedman A. Hrabowski III

"We'd like kids to learn how to solve hard problems and what it takes to pull off a complex endeavor, how to plan, collaborate, fail and not give up."

- Paulo Blikstein 

"Science with humanity is googol times more amazing... I'd like to see STEM turned into STEAM."
- John Maeda

a brief manifesto on education and the future of our technologically-reliant society

“It must be a strange world not being a scientist—going through life not knowing—or maybe not caring about where the air came from, where the stars at night came from or how far they are from us. I want to know.” 

-Michio Kaku 

When I was 10 years old, I began to see the world of electronics unfold around me. Gradually, many of my friends were excited at the process of obtaining their own cell phones; I remember the Motorola Razor was in style when I was in middle school. Today, I look around and see 10 year-olds using smartphones to check Facebook and play games. As computers, cell phones, tablets, and other electronic devices continue to play an increasingly eminent role in the development of modern society, it is important that young students gain a better understanding of how these devices work as to understand the power of their roles in our everyday lives.

My parents gave me my first cell phone when I was in 6^th grade. It’s the type of phone that has become termed the “dinosaur”: a three and a half inch phone with a square screen measured about half an inch on each side with large pad-dialing and no cover. I had been excited to finally have ownership of this thing I learned to call a cellular phone. In late elementary school, I was exposed to the world of computers, having typed my first assignment all by myself. I was fascinated by the huge monitor, the wireless mouse, and the CPU. As a kid, I had no idea how these devices worked, but I knew one thing for sure: they offered me an awful lot of convenience in life. Instead of walking in to an office near my bus stop to call my mom and tell her I was there, I could call her directly from my cell phone. Rather than trying so hard to write in a straight line as neatly as I could for my science poster, I could type on Microsoft Word, and even make my words fancy with WordArt.

For the past 18 years of my life, I have taken these electronic devices for granted. I use them daily for my social life, school, work, and other resources. During my pre-collegiate life, I was too familiar with the stereotype given to students who were interested in the details of electronics. They were termed geeks and nerds, and commonly labeled to have “no life.” The internet portrayed them constantly sitting in front of a computer with no rays of sunshine seeping through their windows. This falsified image is what initially drove me away from computing, and I even neglected my computer science classes upon entering college. However, after a year of meeting so many diverse individuals and finally taking my first computer language class (read my initial reaction to C++ here), I have grown to have tremendous respect for those who excel at computer science – the individuals who have allowed society to now rely on dependable devices.

As stated in this NY Times article which was published a few years ago, I believe that there are two major changes needed for the education of younger generations: the public perception of computer scientists which is ingrained in young students’ minds, and the need to implement computer science in their education so students can better understand the power it plays in their everyday lives. The UCLA Computer Science Project has had great progress and success in exposing high school students to the realm of computer science. The curricula emphasizes problem-solving through brainstorming and interpreting algorithms while incorporating social analysis concepts for students to better understand what computer science algorithms are realistic for today’s society.

I believe that the work of the UCLA Computer Science Project and other similar projects can be extended to younger students in elementary and middle school. At that point in their lives, kids are most curious about their surroundings and how things work. By learning algorithms at a young age, students develop logic and critical thinking skills, ultimately improving their skills in other subjects such as mathematics and even language arts. They could outgrow the idea of a geeky computer scientist frantically coding and gain more respect for individuals who ensure the development of safe technology for the general population and maybe, one day, become the person to form the next groundbreaking device for future generations. Perhaps these kids will develop a liking for making games or designing animations. One unknown success of the computer science world is the progress made in the Wireless Health Industry. The well-being of humanity is becoming even more dependent on the research in computer science areas. Athletes rely on wireless devices to improve their stamina and performances, and individuals are able to measure their heart rate and temperatures on-the-go without the need for overwhelmingly expensive equipment.

Students who are educated and inspired by computer science will ultimately gain skills and ideas that are worthwhile for a lifetime. The goal is not to be converting every child into a future computer scientist, but to have them understand basics in the world of electronics which is gradually becoming a core part of society. As more affordable and convenient devices are being developed and, most importantly, understood by the general public, computer science developments can not only changing the lives of those in Los Angeles and the United States, but the lives of people all over the world.