"Will you be back again soon?"

Despite the incessant studying that has been accompanying my inflexible school schedule with midterms and quizzes which has caused my recent exhaustion, I re-discovered a former beacon of hope that brought the biggest smile to my face, contentment, and peace within: enlightening younger students, inspiring them to learn, and seeing their exciting responses and participation.

I'm not going to lie: the transition to being BEAM president has been tough. It's funny how you can work for months towards something, and it can all come crashing down within a few seconds due to unexpected complications. But I get it; this is all a part of the learning process. Disappointment and shattered plans are all naturally a part of a growing team that is learning to optimize its success and opportunities.

For the first time in several months, I visited a fourth-grade classroom and saw bright, curious faces who were so excited to be doing some hands-on science. While leading the class discussion, I asked them some questions related to osmosis and diffusion. What happens to your fingers when you guys are in the shower for too long? Can you relate that to what happens in Mr. Potato when he has been in salt water for too long? Every question I asked resulted in an astounding number of hands raised, all competitively eager to answer me (about 80% of the students raised their hands after every question). Well, how different this is from college science students; we're often very mundane and almost always sound wearied. Entering a room filled with enthusiastic young kids was incredibly refreshing. 

At the end of our session, several of the kids ran up to me with pleading, widened eyes and said, "Jessica, will you be back again soon? PLEASE?" I then announced to the class that we will be back next Friday. A roaring "HOORAY!" echoed throughout the room.

Going to the school is like seeing the fruits of the BEAM team's labor. And this motivates me to build an even stronger leadership which will continue reaching out to younger students, exposing them to the exciting and relateable aspects of science.

Did I forget to mention that the kids were excited to show off their class pet, Leo?

Scatterbrained.

I've recently felt like my mind is everywhere. I'm having so many ambitious visions about my future and trying to learn new skills that my focus on my engineering studies has drifted to la-la land. One morning I wake up determined to brainstorm and write an outline for my book. The next day I suddenly really want to learn biology. An hour later I feel like composing a solo piece for cello. Then, before I know it, I want to refine my skills in Matlab, Python, and C++ all at the same time. This is me envisioning some supernatural version of myself successfully doing all this on top of my coursework.

My roommates constantly comment on how I seem to always be busy, writing like a maniac at my desk, reading something from my computer, or attending a meeting. Do you have time for yourself? Yes, I do. Every moment is time given for myself, but since my time is devoted to things that are drastically different, I am inefficient. I need to regain my focus and concentrate on one thing at a time.

My dreams of being an indie author, performing in Royce Hall, and saving the world from delirious diseases can wait. But this is only a short wait.